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Re: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - Rally - 09-28-2015

(09-28-2015, 07:57 AM)82lsju link Wrote:[quote author=threepointer link=topic=12948.msg131262#msg131262 date=1443385296]

Which is a long way of saying that the Athletic Endowment is probably somewhere in the range of $400-$450 million at this point.

this looks reasonable given the 2013-14 Athletics annual report

http://www.gostanford.com/ViewArticle.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=30600&ATCLID=208953761

that showed an endowment payout of $25.2 million, assuming a 5% payout that would put the endowment at ~$500 million
[/quote]

Softball.  Just for BobK

MY parents' helicopter ride - Redrum - 09-28-2015

"I would bet that more than 90% of the entering students at elite institutions had parents who did at least one of these things: "
*paid for extra college counseling. "Have you decided where you want to go to college?  Oh, Stanford?  That's nice dear, I hope you get in..."
*paid for SAT training "Remember to get lots of sleep, you've got the SAT tomorrow, dear"
* paid for lessons or memberships in extracurricular activities designed to enhance the application "OK, I cleared out the garage so we can pull the engine out of the MG."
* paid for study abroad opportunities  "Why don't you take some classes at Pasadena City College, dear?"
* use personal connections to arrange for summer internships [Did my intern summer working construction building the new Lockheed Aircraft assembly plant in Palmdale ]
*paid for travel expenses for college visits and interviews. [Chipped in $20 for food so me and friend could pile into a car and piggyback on the freebees for Steve Jubb's football recruiting visit]

The numbers of students who could figure out how to do all of this by themselves without parental helicoptering is tiny.

Re: MY parents' helicopter ride - stupac2 - 09-28-2015

(09-28-2015, 02:01 PM)Redrum link Wrote:"I would bet that more than 90% of the entering students at elite institutions had parents who did at least one of these things: "
*paid for extra college counseling. "Have you decided where you want to go to college?  Oh, Stanford?  That's nice dear, I hope you get in..."
*paid for SAT training "Remember to get lots of sleep, you've got the SAT tomorrow, dear"
* paid for lessons or memberships in extracurricular activities designed to enhance the application "OK, I cleared out the garage so we can pull the engine out of the MG."
* paid for study abroad opportunities  "Why don't you take some classes at Pasadena City College, dear?"
* use personal connections to arrange for summer internships [Did my intern summer working construction building the new Lockheed Aircraft assembly plant in Palmdale ]
*paid for travel expenses for college visits and interviews. [Chipped in $20 for food so me and friend could pile into a car and piggyback on the freebees for Steve Jubb's football recruiting visit]

The numbers of students who could figure out how to do all of this by themselves without parental helicoptering is tiny.

To be fair, things have changed quite a bit in recent years. Getting into Stanford is something like 3 times harder than when I applied, and I'm 28...

Re: MY parents' helicopter ride - Mick - 09-28-2015

(09-28-2015, 02:01 PM)Redrum link Wrote:"I would bet that more than 90% of the entering students at elite institutions had parents who did at least one of these things: "
*paid for extra college counseling. "Have you decided where you want to go to college?  Oh, Stanford?  That's nice dear, I hope you get in..."
*paid for SAT training "Remember to get lots of sleep, you've got the SAT tomorrow, dear"
* paid for lessons or memberships in extracurricular activities designed to enhance the application "OK, I cleared out the garage so we can pull the engine out of the MG."
* paid for study abroad opportunities  "Why don't you take some classes at Pasadena City College, dear?"
* use personal connections to arrange for summer internships [Did my intern summer working construction building the new Lockheed Aircraft assembly plant in Palmdale ]
*paid for travel expenses for college visits and interviews. [Chipped in $20 for food so me and friend could pile into a car and piggyback on the freebees for Steve Jubb's football recruiting visit]

The numbers of students who could figure out how to do all of this by themselves without parental helicoptering is tiny.


"Statement..."  (My parents / me)

"I would bet that more than 90% of the entering students at elite institutions had parents who did at least one of these things: "
*paid for extra college counseling. (Not at the point of a gun, just study harder for chrissake / yes, definitely)
*paid for SAT training (I bought my own SAT practice workbook for $6.99 in 1979 / two different SAT tutors, paid for by me)
* paid for lessons or memberships in extracurricular activities designed to enhance the application (Ha.  Good one.  Once more, not at the point of a gun / Yes, $5k per year for six years)
* paid for study abroad opportunities  (as long as 'abroad" means "one county over" /  Nope.  What am I, made of money?)
* use personal connections to arrange for summer internships  (had no personal connections / Chip off the old block.  I had no personal connections either)
*paid for travel expenses for college visits and interviews.  (Yelled at me for not filling up his tank when I drove the Camaro to Stanford for a visit in 1979 / Yes to Harv, Prin, UCLA/SD/B/SB and USC - which lasted maybe 8 minutes).


Re: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - Rally - 09-28-2015

To be clear I don't want uninvolved parents.  To the extent time and money allow I think parents should support and encourage their kids, corr ct them when they're wrong, allow them to suffer the consequences of poor decisions (then pick them up and talk about it.). I don't like to see overly-protective parents who push their kids to be someone they aren't.  Often this is the parent reliving their lives at the child's expense, which includes, sometimes, college admission.  No one in my family, either side, had graduated from high school until my father, the youngest of 10, did, and college was spelled with a "d."  So my parents expected us to go to college.  Any college would do, as long as it has "college" or "university" in it's name.  But they didn't push us.  It was just assumed, from birth, and we (5of us) never questioned it.  As the eldest I had the least help, but over the next 12 years my Dad made more money and both parents wished up to the game.  I was the most studious, using the term relatively, and there was tutoring for some of my siblings (I don't think there were SAT tutors in those days?). The slowest of my siblings was the only one to earn a Ph.D and, frankly, my father thought it was the biggest waste of time in the world.  Some years later, just to show us all up, he got his own degree from La Verne College (now University.). It was one of those credit for life experiences things and he did it very part time in a year.  Never heard the end of it.

EDIT:  Almost forgot.  Helicopter softball

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A3J6I5sBnd4

Re: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - jacketree - 09-28-2015

Maybe I read the OP wrong, but it seems like parents who helicopter over their kids who are in college seems particularly egregious.  I mean, when do you cut the chord?  (Never is the answer; you never totally cut that chord.)  But running interference with your kids' professors, coaches, friends, etc, etc seems like a recipe for adult failure to me.

We try to support our adult children without running their lives, in the small hope that they won't throw us in a home prematurely.

And if we are going to post some helicopters, pending service selection this fall, I may end up with a helicopter kid.

[Image: AH-1Z_850x-1.jpg]



Re: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - Rally - 09-28-2015

(09-28-2015, 06:04 PM)jacketree link Wrote:Maybe I read the OP wrong, but it seems like parents who helicopter over their kids who are in college seems particularly egregious.  I mean, when do you cut the chord?  (Never is the answer; you never totally cut that chord.)  But running interference with your kids' professors, coaches, friends, etc, etc seems like a recipe for adult failure to me.

We try to support our adult children without running their lives, in the small hope that they won't throw us in a home prematurely.

And if we are going to post some helicopters, pending service selection this fall, I may end up with a helicopter kid.

[Image: AH-1Z_850x-1.jpg]

Good luck to your kid.  It's probably just m but any helicopter looks like a giant Rube Goldberg machine.

EDIT. I forgot.  Softball.

Re: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - Rally - 10-01-2015

Support for my position. 

http://insider.foxnews.com/2015/10/01/psychologist-peter-gray-helicopter-parents-creating-emotionally-fragile-young-adults

PS:  Softball.

Re: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - 81alum - 10-01-2015

(10-01-2015, 09:39 AM)ferrari link Wrote:Support for my position. 

http://insider.foxnews.com/2015/10/01/psychologist-peter-gray-helicopter-parents-creating-emotionally-fragile-young-adults

PS:  Softball.
It seems there is some agreement between left and right, as witnessed by your Fox news story and this one from the Atlantic:
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/04/hey-parents-leave-those-kids-alone/358631/

Both stories use Peter Gray.

ps: Softball?

Re: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - Rally - 10-01-2015

(10-01-2015, 09:55 AM)81alum link Wrote:[quote author=ferrari link=topic=12948.msg131930#msg131930 date=1443717583]
Support for my position. 

http://insider.foxnews.com/2015/10/01/psychologist-peter-gray-helicopter-parents-creating-emotionally-fragile-young-adults

PS:  Softball.
It seems there is some agreement between left an right, as witnessed by your Fox news story and this one from the Atlantic:
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/04/hey-parents-leave-those-kids-alone/358631/

Both stories use Peter Gray.

ps: Softball?
[/quote]

Trying to stay on topic :)

Re: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - Mick - 10-02-2015

(10-01-2015, 09:55 AM)81alum link Wrote:ps: Softball?

Yes, helicopter parents associated with the Stanford softball team.  A meeting was organized with the Stanford Athletic Director Bernard Muir by five parents of Stanford softball players, and was motivated by a sixth, Oregon softball coach Mike White.  They intentionally bypassed Coach Rittman, and Muir saw fit to exclude him from the meeting or any communications about the team.

These links are from the Stanford Daily, the SF Chronicle and the San Jose Mercury News, and they tell the story:

http://www.stanforddaily.com/2015/05/28/stanford-softball-in-shambles-after-infighting-controversial-resignation
http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Coach-s-ouster-created-schism-in-Stanford-6325754.php
http://www.mercurynews.com/peninsula-sports/ci_28203959/once-proud-stanford-softball-program-brought-its-knees

Re: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - Mick - 10-11-2015

(09-27-2015, 03:31 PM)ferrari link Wrote:[quote author=dabigv link=topic=12948.msg131273#msg131273 date=1443392788]
[quote author=81alum link=topic=12948.msg131267#msg131267 date=1443388834]
I wholeheartedly agree with Julie's critique of helicopter parenting and the need for young adults to learn to take control of their own success.

But it is almost farcically naive in the stressful, complex world created by elite admissions processes.  The competition to get into schools like Stanford is so high that only students with elaborate support structures have a ghost of a chance.  I would bet that more than 90% of the entering students at elite institutions had parents who did at least one of these things: paid for extra college counseling; paid for SAT training; paid for lessons or memberships in extracurricular activities designed to enhance the application; paid for study abroad opportunities; use personal connections to arrange for summer internships; paid for travel expenses for college visits and interviews.  The numbers of students who could figure out how to do all of this by themselves without parental helicoptering is tiny.  Very few if any of these things would have been done a couple of generations ago when I was an applicant, and so it is the ramped-up competition driven by admissions offices that has helped to create helicopter parents.  Parents become personal-trainers preparing their kids for the brutal world of college admissions--a role that some of them apparently cannot set aside after college begins for their kids.

All these books talking about getting away from intrusive parenting and emphasizing the need for young people to individuate and learn personal responsibility are correct in their goals; I do not think, however, that they truly understand the causes of the cultural shift that has produced this unhealthy environment. 

Now, let's say that Stanford decided to only admit students who have taken a year off after high school for national service of some sort, or to work at a job.  Let's say that it sharply limited the volume of extracurriculars, test scores, AP courses, etc. that can be on an application.  Let's say that it set a standard for admissions--high--but then randomly chose from among all applicants who met the standard.  Let's say that it entered into a consortium with the Ivies and other elites and they all did the same. 

Why then you might find a lot of helicopter crashes.

Agreed.
[/quote]

So, you think the only problem is helicopter parents of children who aspire (or whose parents aspire) to elite universities?
[/quote]


Stop by any Little League field, and you'll have the answer to that question.

From our friends at the Onion - Mick - 10-14-2015

An article titled "There's No Greater Bond Than The One Between A Mother And Her Child's Accomplishments."

http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/theres-no-greater-bond-one-between-mother-and-her--51542

Re: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - Kathy - 10-22-2015

A former Stanford dean of freshmen weighs in:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2015/10/16/former-stanford-dean-explains-why-helicopter-parenting-is-ruining-a-generation-of-children/


Why those annoying “helicopter parents" aren’t so bad after all - Mick - 10-23-2015

(10-22-2015, 02:14 PM)Kathy link Wrote:A former Stanford dean of freshmen weighs in:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2015/10/16/former-stanford-dean-explains-why-helicopter-parenting-is-ruining-a-generation-of-children/


And for a counterpoint, maybe helicopter parents aren't so bad after all:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2015/10/21/why-those-annoying-helicopter-parents-arent-so-bad-after-all/

And I have too say...the Stanford Five helicopter parents and the coach of Oregon's softball team did get what they want.  They got a very successful coach fired, and starters quit or transferred.

RE: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - PAsportsfan - 07-11-2024

https://www.paloaltoonline.com/stanford/2024/07/11/stanford-alum-details-affair-with-celebrity-dean-who-is-now-palo-alto-city-council-member/

Stanford alum details affair with ‘celebrity’ dean, who is now Palo Alto City Council member
https://www.paloaltoonline.com/stanford/2024/07/11/stanford-alum-details-affair-with-celebrity-dean-who-is-now-palo-alto-city-council-member/


Stanford alum details affair with ‘celebrity’ dean, who is now Palo Alto City Council member

RE: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - cardcrimson - 07-11-2024

(09-27-2015, 12:40 PM)BostonCard Wrote:  I don't know... As a parent I feel my job is to prepare my kids for failure by encouraging them to show grit, determination, and resiliency.  Dealing with success is relatively easy, but learning how to bounce back from failure is not.

BC

Going to disagree to some extent. It's not preparing kids for failure, it's preparing kids for adversity that's important. Failure is competition based. I'm not fast enough, I'm can't jump as high, I suck at math.

Adversity brings in all of that, plus a whole lot more. Medical issues. Cognitive/learning issues. Mental health issues. Societal issues. Economic issues. Bullying. Racism. Sexism. And on and on.

I heard somewhere recently that when you get knocked down, you get back up. Sure, parents who encourage that are good, supportive parents for helping their kids overcome failure. Those who help their kids navigate true adversity and to overcome it are even better ones.

RE: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - cardcrimson - 07-12-2024

(07-11-2024, 08:50 PM)PAsportsfan Wrote:  https://www.paloaltoonline.com/stanford/2024/07/11/stanford-alum-details-affair-with-celebrity-dean-who-is-now-palo-alto-city-council-member/

Stanford alum details affair with ‘celebrity’ dean, who is now Palo Alto City Council member
https://www.paloaltoonline.com/stanford/2024/07/11/stanford-alum-details-affair-with-celebrity-dean-who-is-now-palo-alto-city-council-member/


Stanford alum details affair with ‘celebrity’ dean, who is now Palo Alto City Council member

Unbelievable about the dean and the student. Quietly pushed out by the university, it appears. Shameful.

RE: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - dabigv13 - 07-12-2024

Should probably be its own thread but WHAT!!! Julie Lythcott-Haims was new to the job when I started at Stanford, and was probably the most visible dean when it came to campus life.

"Abuse of power comes as no surprise."

RE: MY parents' helicopter ride - Giants - 07-12-2024

Mick dateline='[url=tel:1443477553' Wrote:  1443477553[/url]']
Redrum link dateline='[url=tel:1443474071 Wrote:1443474071[/url]']
"I would bet that more than 90% of the entering students at elite institutions had parents who did at least one of these things: "
*paid for extra college counseling. "Have you decided where you want to go to college?  Oh, Stanford?  That's nice dear, I hope you get in..."
*paid for SAT training "Remember to get lots of sleep, you've got the SAT tomorrow, dear"
* paid for lessons or memberships in extracurricular activities designed to enhance the application "OK, I cleared out the garage so we can pull the engine out of the MG."
* paid for study abroad opportunities  "Why don't you take some classes at Pasadena City College, dear?"
* use personal connections to arrange for summer internships [Did my intern summer working construction building the new Lockheed Aircraft assembly plant in Palmdale ]
*paid for travel expenses for college visits and interviews. [Chipped in $20 for food so me and friend could pile into a car and piggyback on the freebees for Steve Jubb's football recruiting visit]

The numbers of students who could figure out how to do all of this by themselves without parental helicoptering is tiny.


"Statement..."   (My parents / me)

"I would bet that more than 90% of the entering students at elite institutions had parents who did at least one of these things: "
*paid for extra college counseling. (Not at the point of a gun, just study harder for chrissake / yes, definitely)
*paid for SAT training (I bought my own SAT practice workbook for $6.99 in 1979 / two different SAT tutors, paid for by me)
* paid for lessons or memberships in extracurricular activities designed to enhance the application (Ha.  Good one.  Once more, not at the point of a gun / Yes, $5k per year for six years)
* paid for study abroad opportunities  (as long as 'abroad" means "one county over" /  Nope.  What am I, made of money?)
* use personal connections to arrange for summer internships  (had no personal connections / Chip off the old block.  I had no personal connections either)
*paid for travel expenses for college visits and interviews.  (Yelled at me for not filling up his tank when I drove the Camaro to Stanford for a visit in 1979 / Yes to Harv, Prin, UCLA/SD/B/SB and USC - which lasted maybe 8 minutes).

Parents/Me

As a senior in HS…. Where you going to college next year?  Laney.
As a soph at Laney… What are you going to do next year?  Go to Cal.
Two years later…. Now that you graduated, what are going to do next?  Get a job. 

Total cost of my higher education:  $700.00 (plus books).  This includes a $20 discount for enrolling in a summer quarter my first year at Berkeley.  

Looking back, I wouldn’t change anything.  Life was easy in the 60’s.