Stanford softball and helicopter parents - Printable Version
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RE: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - Mick - 07-13-2024
Forgot to mention, I told my dad I wanted to apply to Cal, having applied to a "reach" school (Stanford) and a "safety" school (Santa Clara).
His response? Shaking his head, he said "but Mick...that'd be fifty bucks."
RE: Stanford softball and helicopter parents - TonyLima - 07-14-2024
(09-27-2015, 12:42 PM)washingtonismoney Wrote:(09-27-2015, 09:52 AM)Mick link Wrote:(and took a course in "Creative Non-Fiction" -- would love to hear how that oxymoron works -- field trips to MSNBC and Fox?)
creative non-fiction -- think similar to "new journalism": presentation of real-life events with literary techniques.
Pioneered by Truman Capote and Hunter S. Thompson iirc.
RE: MY parents' helicopter ride - qwerty49 - 07-14-2024
(07-12-2024, 03:53 PM)Giants Wrote:Mick dateline='[url=tel:1443477553' Wrote: 1443477553[/url]']
Redrum link dateline='[url=tel:1443474071 Wrote:1443474071[/url]']
"I would bet that more than 90% of the entering students at elite institutions had parents who did at least one of these things: "
*paid for extra college counseling. "Have you decided where you want to go to college? Oh, Stanford? That's nice dear, I hope you get in..."
*paid for SAT training "Remember to get lots of sleep, you've got the SAT tomorrow, dear"
* paid for lessons or memberships in extracurricular activities designed to enhance the application "OK, I cleared out the garage so we can pull the engine out of the MG."
* paid for study abroad opportunities "Why don't you take some classes at Pasadena City College, dear?"
* use personal connections to arrange for summer internships [Did my intern summer working construction building the new Lockheed Aircraft assembly plant in Palmdale ]
*paid for travel expenses for college visits and interviews. [Chipped in $20 for food so me and friend could pile into a car and piggyback on the freebees for Steve Jubb's football recruiting visit]
The numbers of students who could figure out how to do all of this by themselves without parental helicoptering is tiny.
"Statement..."Â (My parents / me)
"I would bet that more than 90% of the entering students at elite institutions had parents who did at least one of these things: "
*paid for extra college counseling. (Not at the point of a gun, just study harder for chrissake / yes, definitely)
*paid for SAT training (I bought my own SAT practice workbook for $6.99 in 1979 / two different SAT tutors, paid for by me)
* paid for lessons or memberships in extracurricular activities designed to enhance the application (Ha. Good one. Once more, not at the point of a gun / Yes, $5k per year for six years)
* paid for study abroad opportunities (as long as 'abroad" means "one county over" / Nope. What am I, made of money?)
* use personal connections to arrange for summer internships (had no personal connections / Chip off the old block. I had no personal connections either)
*paid for travel expenses for college visits and interviews. (Yelled at me for not filling up his tank when I drove the Camaro to Stanford for a visit in 1979 / Yes to Harv, Prin, UCLA/SD/B/SB and USC - which lasted maybe 8 minutes).
Parents/Me
As a senior in HS…. Where you going to college next year? Laney.
As a soph at Laney… What are you going to do next year? Go to Cal.
Two years later…. Now that you graduated, what are going to do next? Get a job.
Total cost of my higher education: $700.00 (plus books). This includes a $20 discount for enrolling in a summer quarter my first year at Berkeley.
Looking back, I wouldn’t change anything. Life was easy in the 60’s.
Yeah, numbers were a whole lot different back in the 60's. Stanford tuition my freshman year was $1575, $525/quarter. I don't remember what room & board cost, but I think it was on the order of $800-$1000 for the year, so maybe close to $2500 total per year. I had $750/yr in scholarship money, maybe $300 in other one-time scholies, and I took out a $2500 student loan (IIRC the interest rate was less than 3%), and that pretty much covered tuition. I worked summers for $2/hr and signed over my paycheck to my dad every week. He made up the rest and put $20 in my bank account every month during the school year. I would routinely go down to Tresidder and cash a check for $5 every week, and felt like a millionaire.
My dad only took home about $1000/month, and as an engineer in the pre-Silicon Valley defense industry he had to be careful because of the massive layoffs every time a defense contract ran out. Looking back, I don't know how he did it, supporting a family of five.
Fast forward to a few years ago when I did the final tally for my daughter's 9 semesters at Berkeley. $83K out of pocket, and she worked part-time and summers to pay for books and supplies. But I think it was a lot easier for me to cough up $20K/yr than for my dad to send me to college back in the 60's.
Re the helicopter part --- I think it's only natural for parents to be concerned about their kids, especially when the money for an education is seen as an "investment" and there's pressure on all sides. I never saw eye-to-eye with my dad in the 60's, (who did?) --- but he knew I had to learn to make the right decisions for my life. And one day years later I had to shake my head and laugh when I realized that, just as he predicted, I had become my dad.
And yeah, I sat/slept through many a high school WVB match wondering why my 5-8 daughter was 2nd or 3rd-string MB when it was pretty clear she had the athleticism to be a really good setter or DS. But I guess that pales compared to our softball issues a few years ago.
RE: MY parents' helicopter ride - Mick - 07-14-2024
(07-14-2024, 01:11 PM)qwerty49 Wrote: Re the helicopter part --- I think it's only natural for parents to be concerned about their kids, especially when the money for an education is seen as an "investment" and there's pressure on all sides. I never saw eye-to-eye with my dad in the 60's, (who did?) --- but he knew I had to learn to make the right decisions for my life. And one day years later I had to shake my head and laugh when I realized that, just as he predicted, I had become my dad.
And yeah, I sat/slept through many a high school WVB match wondering why my 5-8 daughter was 2nd or 3rd-string MB when it was pretty clear she had the athleticism to be a really good setter or DS. But I guess that pales compared to our softball issues a few years ago.
My dad told me I was nuts for investing in my kids' club volleyball, much less the high school volleyball. The club volleyball without which the kids don't get into an Ivy. I didn't bother soliciting his opinion on the SAT/ACT instructors and the essay editors I engaged. Pops was the same guy who didn't want me to apply to the UC system in 1979 because, you know, it was $50. Too much to invest, per Pops.
Of course, in the 1970s he had six kids and managed to keep a 4 handicap playing golf both days every weekend. Someday I'm going to have to find out how my stepmother let him get away with that, when I got the stankeye from Mrs. Mick for playing golf once a year after we had kids (Work obligation. Honest.)