10-17-2020, 06:28 PM
As parents, we all want what's best for our child. And we want our children to be happy, and successful at life. A successful life can come from a lot of different educational backgrounds, and trying to squeeze a child into a hole that isn't meant for them does both the parent and child a disservice.
My parents were a very strange blend of "get good grades and go to a good college" and "we won't lift a finger to help you beyond that admonition." They sent me to a terrible high school that closed six years after I graduated. I only applied to two colleges, Stanford and Santa Clara. Got into SCU with honors. Didn't get into Stanford. Choice was easy. And SCU was, frankly, not remotely difficult.
I've regretted attending SCU in the past. Am I satisfied with how my life has turned out? Enough. But I wonder what might have been, had I tried for a school with a bigger reputation. I've had a successful career, but I've missed out on a few of the highest level opportunities. And I know, very well, the people who received those opportunities and now occupy those roles, and they went to the big name schools. And...well, let's just say that I understand why the turnover is high in those jobs.
So, I learned the lesson. Merit counts, to a point. I encouraged both of my my kids to try hard in grade and high school. Got them help when they needed it. Sent them to good schools. I would have been absolutely delighted had they been accepted at a mid-level UC, to be frank. And unaccountably, all three of their cousins are happy at USC... ;). I told both my kids that if they wanted to attend SCU or a UC or a CSU, I would have been fine with that and I meant it. I still mean it.
I understand the impetus behind wanting to do what's best for one's child. I understand that different parents will go to different lengths. My parents didn't do a damn thing, though to be fair, they didn't attend college...although my maternal grandfather went to Cal, and my paternal grandparents went to Stanford.
Parenting is like a lot of activities. It's really easy to do poorly and really hard to do well. Finding that perfect blend is a challenge.
My parents were a very strange blend of "get good grades and go to a good college" and "we won't lift a finger to help you beyond that admonition." They sent me to a terrible high school that closed six years after I graduated. I only applied to two colleges, Stanford and Santa Clara. Got into SCU with honors. Didn't get into Stanford. Choice was easy. And SCU was, frankly, not remotely difficult.
I've regretted attending SCU in the past. Am I satisfied with how my life has turned out? Enough. But I wonder what might have been, had I tried for a school with a bigger reputation. I've had a successful career, but I've missed out on a few of the highest level opportunities. And I know, very well, the people who received those opportunities and now occupy those roles, and they went to the big name schools. And...well, let's just say that I understand why the turnover is high in those jobs.
So, I learned the lesson. Merit counts, to a point. I encouraged both of my my kids to try hard in grade and high school. Got them help when they needed it. Sent them to good schools. I would have been absolutely delighted had they been accepted at a mid-level UC, to be frank. And unaccountably, all three of their cousins are happy at USC... ;). I told both my kids that if they wanted to attend SCU or a UC or a CSU, I would have been fine with that and I meant it. I still mean it.
I understand the impetus behind wanting to do what's best for one's child. I understand that different parents will go to different lengths. My parents didn't do a damn thing, though to be fair, they didn't attend college...although my maternal grandfather went to Cal, and my paternal grandparents went to Stanford.
Parenting is like a lot of activities. It's really easy to do poorly and really hard to do well. Finding that perfect blend is a challenge.
Audaces fortuna iuvat