[Mick]

I played for one of those guys in high school. What's interesting is that a bad coach at a young age gives you insights into the frailties and shortcomings of adults in ways that you don't otherwise get.  Your parents and extended family love you, even the marginal teachers at least want you to do well, the parents of your friends are generally happy with you, and if you're fortunate enough to work, your boss has a fairly narrow set of rules and personality characteristics.  In other words, most adults in the lives of students are largely positive.

Hate to be a Debbie Downer here, but this is not even close to universally true. I'm glad this was your experience, but many kids grow up with abusive parents and extended family, teachers, priests, etc. And even those kids whose parents and family are not abusive per se may suffer from an early age due to the fact that the adults in their lives have deep character flaws that render them incapable of being fully effective/loving parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. Just think of the millions of kids who grow up with a parent who has a serious addiction, etc. 

IMHO, a borderline abusive high school coach is a luxury problem, because you can always quit the team. Much harder to run away when you are 8 and your parents aren't very good at parenting, or have the wherewithal to speak out when you're being abused by your local church's priest. To be sure, those are orders of magnitude worse than Mike Leach, but unfortunately millions of kids grow up knowing firsthand the "frailties and shortcomings of adults."

I don't think I claimed it was universally true. I was talking in the main. My own parents were hugely abusive; multiple divorces starting when I was six, etc. it was a horrorshow. Don't need to delve into that, although I will say that my brother tried to hold up the mirror a bit to my father, mother and stepmother when he turned 40. He asked them to read Judith Wallerstein's "The Long Term Effects of Divorce" in lieu of a gift or celebration. All three refused, heh heh heh. But I don't think my experience was the average.

As for the abusive coach, quitting is not always an option. In my high school, if you quit the team, you couldn't do any other activity. In my household, you weren't allowed to quit a team. And there are time limits to a coach; they're not in your life as much as a parent, teacher or employer. My point was that exposure to a coach (good or bad) is limited compared to other adult/child relationships. The coach is there for a few hours per day, and only during the season and therefore more manageable. So your comment is not true, and I don't think it's true in the main.

Let me restate it this way: the majority of adults in a child's life are positive or at least trying to help the child improve and deal with the world. The majority of adults in an adult's life are largely out for themselves, often to the detriment of said adult. And early experience with marginal adults helps the child turn into an adult who better knows how to deal with subpar adults. And I agree with you that it's far harder to dissolve a relationship with a bad parent or teacher and the long term abuse that results from repeated ongoing exposure to those adults. Those are far worse.

[Mick]

I played for one of those guys in high school. What's interesting is that a bad coach at a young age gives you insights into the frailties and shortcomings of adults in ways that you don't otherwise get.  Your parents and extended family love you, even the marginal teachers at least want you to do well, the parents of your friends are generally happy with you, and if you're fortunate enough to work, your boss has a fairly narrow set of rules and personality characteristics.  In other words, most adults in the lives of students are largely positive.

Hate to be a Debbie Downer here, but this is not even close to universally true. I'm glad this was your experience, but many kids grow up with abusive parents and extended family, teachers, priests, etc. And even those kids whose parents and family are not abusive per se may suffer from an early age due to the fact that the adults in their lives have deep character flaws that render them incapable of being fully effective/loving parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. Just think of the millions of kids who grow up with a parent who has a serious addiction, etc. 

IMHO, a borderline abusive high school coach is a luxury problem, because you can always quit the team. Much harder to run away when you are 8 and your parents aren't very good at parenting, or have the wherewithal to speak out when you're being abused by your local church's priest. To be sure, those are orders of magnitude worse than Mike Leach, but unfortunately millions of kids grow up knowing firsthand the "frailties and shortcomings of adults."

I don't think I claimed it was universally true. I was talking in the main. My own parents were hugely abusive; multiple divorces starting when I was six, etc. it was a horrorshow. Don't need to delve into that, although I will say that my brother tried to hold up the mirror a bit to my father, mother and stepmother when he turned 40. He asked them to read Judith Wallerstein's "The Long Term Effects of Divorce" in lieu of a gift or celebration. All three refused, heh heh heh. But I don't think my experience was the average.

As for the abusive coach, quitting is not always an option. In my high school, if you quit the team, you couldn't do any other activity. In my household, you weren't allowed to quit a team. And there are time limits to a coach; they're not in your life as much as a parent, teacher or employer. My point was that exposure to a coach (good or bad) is limited compared to other adult/child relationships. The coach is there for a few hours per day, and only during the season and therefore more manageable. So your comment is not true, and I don't think it's true in the main.

Let me restate it this way: the majority of adults in a child's life are positive or at least trying to help the child improve and deal with the world. The majority of adults in an adult's life are largely out for themselves, often to the detriment of said adult. And early experience with marginal adults helps the child turn into an adult who better knows how to deal with subpar adults. And I agree with you that it's far harder to dissolve a relationship with a bad parent or teacher and the long term abuse that results from repeated ongoing exposure to those adults. Those are far worse.