02-07-2014, 10:05 AM
I don't see this as a clear story of "parents are forcing child down undesired path." At least, not based on the linked story. It sounds more like a situation where there was no clear winner and the parents are giving their best counsel and the child has a different preference (perhaps in part based on the dream of playing D1 ball that may not be a viable option given his abilities). It doesn't sound like they're saying, "no you can't go to Stanford." The story makes it sound like Vecchio is compromising his personal desires to the counsel his parents have provided.
My kids aren't 18, but this happens all the time when my wife and I tell our kids a decision is theirs to make. But we still provide them with the pros and cons of the choices at hand, as well as an indication of what we think is the best decision. For example, my son is tired of basketball and wants to quit before the season is over. We've told him the choice is his but that the right thing to do is to see his commitments through the end and that we would be less likely to sign him up for activities in the future. He has chosen to grudgingly go to basketball until the season's over. He's not happy, but he knows he's doing the "right" thing.
My kids aren't 18, but this happens all the time when my wife and I tell our kids a decision is theirs to make. But we still provide them with the pros and cons of the choices at hand, as well as an indication of what we think is the best decision. For example, my son is tired of basketball and wants to quit before the season is over. We've told him the choice is his but that the right thing to do is to see his commitments through the end and that we would be less likely to sign him up for activities in the future. He has chosen to grudgingly go to basketball until the season's over. He's not happy, but he knows he's doing the "right" thing.