[TreesAndBirds]

This is the first Wilner column I've read in years -- and it actually makes sense! Also, Gerhart and Luck have time on their hands, and this is McCaffrey's bye week so I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up on campus for Big Game. All the pieces will be in place.

My angle would be an intervention. Bryce Love's best friend promises to bring him to the    House, but when he arrives he discovers it's actually the    Halfway House. Gathered in a circle are all his closest friends and family, including Gerhart, Luck, and McCaffrey.

Love: Hey, what is this?
Best friend: We're all here because we're concerned about you, Bryce. Some of the things you've been saying and doing have us all concerned...
Love: What do you mean? This isn't the    House? I thought you said I was getting an early tour, picking out my room, stuff like that.
Gerhart: This is what we mean, Bryce. All this    talk. It just isn't healthy. You're delusional.
Love: But have you seen my numbers? No running back in the country is close to me. I'm a lock!
McCaffrey: That's exactly what I thought, Bryce. I understand, believe me. I broke a record held by Barry Sanders. Barry freakin' Sanders! I did things no one in the history of the game has done -- and I'm white! But they told me I wasn't a true running back.
Love: But I am a true running back! That's all I do!
Luck: But this year, that's a weakness. What you have to understand is that the criteria changes every year. It reminds of a book I'm reading on the Kennedy assassination -- it's a conspiracy, plain and simple, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Love: So what you're saying is..
Best Friend: You can't win.
Love: ...I can't win?
All: You can't win.
Love: Then what do I do?
Luck: You go to New York and pretend you have a chance, then you hope that you're not drafted by a team that will bungle several consecutive drafts, refuse to build an offensive line, and waste the best years of your career.
McCaffrey: You show up at the draft combine and hope they don't misspell your name on your jersey.
Gerhart: You hope that someone in the NFL actually gives you a shot.
Love: But maybe this year...
Gerhart: I carried a team to national prominence and battered every defense I saw.
Luck: I was the best college quarterback in a generation.
McCaffrey: I broke a record most people believed was untouchable.
Love's Grandmother: But don't worry, baby. I knitted you this sweater with a trophy on it. I still think you're the best!
David Shaw: But no one else out there does. It's time you understood that.
Love: Yes, coach. [Turning to camera.] My name is Bryce Love. I am not the best player in America.

Fade to black.

#HeismanLove

Hank, This is great! Someone needs to do this and put it on YouTube. Or do it as a "secretly recorded conversation" so only audio needed. Or give to Wilner and see if he'll publish it.

Well it's fun dreaming anyway :)

[TreesAndBirds]

This is the first Wilner column I've read in years -- and it actually makes sense! Also, Gerhart and Luck have time on their hands, and this is McCaffrey's bye week so I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up on campus for Big Game. All the pieces will be in place.

My angle would be an intervention. Bryce Love's best friend promises to bring him to the    House, but when he arrives he discovers it's actually the    Halfway House. Gathered in a circle are all his closest friends and family, including Gerhart, Luck, and McCaffrey.

Love: Hey, what is this?
Best friend: We're all here because we're concerned about you, Bryce. Some of the things you've been saying and doing have us all concerned...
Love: What do you mean? This isn't the    House? I thought you said I was getting an early tour, picking out my room, stuff like that.
Gerhart: This is what we mean, Bryce. All this    talk. It just isn't healthy. You're delusional.
Love: But have you seen my numbers? No running back in the country is close to me. I'm a lock!
McCaffrey: That's exactly what I thought, Bryce. I understand, believe me. I broke a record held by Barry Sanders. Barry freakin' Sanders! I did things no one in the history of the game has done -- and I'm white! But they told me I wasn't a true running back.
Love: But I am a true running back! That's all I do!
Luck: But this year, that's a weakness. What you have to understand is that the criteria changes every year. It reminds of a book I'm reading on the Kennedy assassination -- it's a conspiracy, plain and simple, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Love: So what you're saying is..
Best Friend: You can't win.
Love: ...I can't win?
All: You can't win.
Love: Then what do I do?
Luck: You go to New York and pretend you have a chance, then you hope that you're not drafted by a team that will bungle several consecutive drafts, refuse to build an offensive line, and waste the best years of your career.
McCaffrey: You show up at the draft combine and hope they don't misspell your name on your jersey.
Gerhart: You hope that someone in the NFL actually gives you a shot.
Love: But maybe this year...
Gerhart: I carried a team to national prominence and battered every defense I saw.
Luck: I was the best college quarterback in a generation.
McCaffrey: I broke a record most people believed was untouchable.
Love's Grandmother: But don't worry, baby. I knitted you this sweater with a trophy on it. I still think you're the best!
David Shaw: But no one else out there does. It's time you understood that.
Love: Yes, coach. [Turning to camera.] My name is Bryce Love. I am not the best player in America.

Fade to black.

#HeismanLove

Hank, This is great! Someone needs to do this and put it on YouTube. Or do it as a "secretly recorded conversation" so only audio needed. Or give to Wilner and see if he'll publish it.

Well it's fun dreaming anyway :)