[BostonCard]

On the subject of mask-wearing, someone I know recently posted this.  I thought it was a perceptive take on the issue:

Dear friends, let me preface this by saying, I 100% believe in and comply with social distancing and wearing a mask outside my home. If someone in my sphere of influence were refusing to wear a mask, I would have a conversation with them about it and try to persuade them otherwise. It is a good thing to share evidence-based data about why masks are beneficial for those who simply lack information. I was a nurse for 10+ years and so grateful to have access to PAPRs and N95s when I needed them.
That being said. It is trendy these days to make every other post on social media a hashtag bashing of people who don't want to wear masks. It helps us feel good about doing the right thing, and a little bit more in control of the crazy events spiraling around us. And yes, undoubtedly, it is the Right Opinion. However, there are many reasons someone might not wear a mask. Yes, some of these people might be selfish and cavalier and value their own life far above anyone else's. Some might see it as a way to assert their independence or as a rah-rah symbol for Trump.
But when you label the maskless people you saw at the store as dumb or selfish, you don't actually know if that is true, or if they have respiratory conditions or sensory processing differences that make mask-wearing untenable (SPD doesn't just mean it's kind of uncomfortable--it means things that are uncomfortable for you and I are downright painful and incapacitating for someone with SPD. Yeah, it might seem ridiculous to you, but it's the brain they were born with, they didn't ask for it).
Even more, when someone doesn't wear a mask--even if they verbalize it as saying they want to assert themselves, or nobody else controls them, or they don't want to live in fear, or whatever--you don't know what depth of anxiety, fear, overwhelm, depression, or inflexible thinking due to neurodevelopmental differences they are dealing with. Does it make their choice to go maskless right? No. But, they are still human beings, who, although you profoundly disagree with them, deserve compassion and care for the hidden struggles that have brought them to that place, just as those who are at higher risk for Covid deserve our compassion and care by following proper infection control measures. At the door to Costco, protection from infection trumps everything else. In the way we speak to one another, we can do better and we can do both. For my friends in the faith community, especially--I see you post all the time about reducing the stigma for mental illness/anxiety/depression. But, this is one of the (hard, yes) steps we can take to actually do that. By not making the worst assumptions about people and writing them off as morally bankrupt based on one thing, without even trying to understand what is going on inside their head or how they got to that point. Anxiety can make people make poor decisions. We need to put safeguards in place around those decisions, but if you really care about people's anxiety, please don't so quickly turn around and label people dumb and selfish because of an external behavior, without taking the time to go deeper into mental and neurological conditions that could be at the root of the behavior.
To reiterate, I'm not saying don't post data that shows why masks are helpful. I'm not saying that people should be allowed into stores without masks when they're upset about the masks (they shouldn't--there are other ways around that, like grocery delivery or having a friend shop for you). And I'm certainly not saying don't wear masks.
I am saying, just pause for a few seconds before you post hashtags like #dontbeselfishwearamask. Maybe just say #yaymasks or #maskssavelives. None of us have the corner on moral rectitude, and we all adopt negative behaviors and attitudes at times to cope with anxiety. Protocols like requiring masks in stores are in place to keep one person's difficulty coping from putting another person at risk. But the way we speak online is a totally different forum, where we can afford a little more grace and kindness (again, your influence in convincing people to wear masks will go a lot further with individual people you know, than with that random high school classmate you friended 10 years ago). You can keep people safe from Covid AND not layer onto people's pre-existing struggles that result in negative behaviors. The two are not mutually exclusive.

That's a very good perspective.

BC

[BostonCard]

On the subject of mask-wearing, someone I know recently posted this.  I thought it was a perceptive take on the issue:

Dear friends, let me preface this by saying, I 100% believe in and comply with social distancing and wearing a mask outside my home. If someone in my sphere of influence were refusing to wear a mask, I would have a conversation with them about it and try to persuade them otherwise. It is a good thing to share evidence-based data about why masks are beneficial for those who simply lack information. I was a nurse for 10+ years and so grateful to have access to PAPRs and N95s when I needed them.
That being said. It is trendy these days to make every other post on social media a hashtag bashing of people who don't want to wear masks. It helps us feel good about doing the right thing, and a little bit more in control of the crazy events spiraling around us. And yes, undoubtedly, it is the Right Opinion. However, there are many reasons someone might not wear a mask. Yes, some of these people might be selfish and cavalier and value their own life far above anyone else's. Some might see it as a way to assert their independence or as a rah-rah symbol for Trump.
But when you label the maskless people you saw at the store as dumb or selfish, you don't actually know if that is true, or if they have respiratory conditions or sensory processing differences that make mask-wearing untenable (SPD doesn't just mean it's kind of uncomfortable--it means things that are uncomfortable for you and I are downright painful and incapacitating for someone with SPD. Yeah, it might seem ridiculous to you, but it's the brain they were born with, they didn't ask for it).
Even more, when someone doesn't wear a mask--even if they verbalize it as saying they want to assert themselves, or nobody else controls them, or they don't want to live in fear, or whatever--you don't know what depth of anxiety, fear, overwhelm, depression, or inflexible thinking due to neurodevelopmental differences they are dealing with. Does it make their choice to go maskless right? No. But, they are still human beings, who, although you profoundly disagree with them, deserve compassion and care for the hidden struggles that have brought them to that place, just as those who are at higher risk for Covid deserve our compassion and care by following proper infection control measures. At the door to Costco, protection from infection trumps everything else. In the way we speak to one another, we can do better and we can do both. For my friends in the faith community, especially--I see you post all the time about reducing the stigma for mental illness/anxiety/depression. But, this is one of the (hard, yes) steps we can take to actually do that. By not making the worst assumptions about people and writing them off as morally bankrupt based on one thing, without even trying to understand what is going on inside their head or how they got to that point. Anxiety can make people make poor decisions. We need to put safeguards in place around those decisions, but if you really care about people's anxiety, please don't so quickly turn around and label people dumb and selfish because of an external behavior, without taking the time to go deeper into mental and neurological conditions that could be at the root of the behavior.
To reiterate, I'm not saying don't post data that shows why masks are helpful. I'm not saying that people should be allowed into stores without masks when they're upset about the masks (they shouldn't--there are other ways around that, like grocery delivery or having a friend shop for you). And I'm certainly not saying don't wear masks.
I am saying, just pause for a few seconds before you post hashtags like #dontbeselfishwearamask. Maybe just say #yaymasks or #maskssavelives. None of us have the corner on moral rectitude, and we all adopt negative behaviors and attitudes at times to cope with anxiety. Protocols like requiring masks in stores are in place to keep one person's difficulty coping from putting another person at risk. But the way we speak online is a totally different forum, where we can afford a little more grace and kindness (again, your influence in convincing people to wear masks will go a lot further with individual people you know, than with that random high school classmate you friended 10 years ago). You can keep people safe from Covid AND not layer onto people's pre-existing struggles that result in negative behaviors. The two are not mutually exclusive.

That's a very good perspective.

BC