[OutsiderFan]

What if an NFL player was being bullied because of his perceived or actual sexual orientation?  Would we see a guy playing the Incognito role refrain from calling the bullied player a "fag" because that is unacceptable when the N-word isn't?  Or given the "meatheads" in the NFL, if a player were suspected to be gay, would we see that word being thrown around by a NFL bully with impunity against a suspected gay football player?

It would seem likely this episode pretty much ensures that no NFL player is going to be openly homosexual.  What a cruel reality for aspiring gay football players.  Not only can you not be who you are in the NFL, you have to hide it and live a lie through high school and college, because if you are suspected as gay, this demonstrates what might happen to you if you are open about it.

But back to the Martin case...  I'm not a trained psychologist, but it sure seems there is a profound difference between someone being physically engaged by a bully and fighting back physically to put one down, and threats and intimidation that as far as the bullied one knows could lead to something much more serious, like home being vandalized, actually fearing for safety all the time.  That manifests itself in excruciating stress and to me, takes bullying to another level that absolutely warrants what some might call "ratting" out the bully.

The reporting suggests Martin did not "go running to his mommy."  He walked out of a situation he couldn't stand, and when a party, in this case his employer, came to him to assess why he did, Martin was honest.  And this brands him as "soft" or "a pussy?"  What, if someone murders your loved one, and you know who did it, the suggested course of action is to refrain from saying who did it because that's being a narc?  Ridiculous.

The only one who has done anything right in the ugly situation is Jonathan Martin.  He tried to go along with the hazing, but when it continued after he was no longer a rookie, it was uncharted territory that made him feel unsafe and unwanted.  Nobody, in any situation should stay in an environment where threatened and unwanted.  This whole he "should have resorted to violence" meme is from the same unevolved place that brands people with mental health issues as weak.  It's just simply unacceptable for us to condone violence as a solution to bullying and dismiss mental illness as just being "soft" when the knowledge now exists for us to know better.

Maybe bullying doesn't go away because too many people say ratting out the bully makes someone look weak?  To me, this is the same dynamic that is created when those experiments are done to see how people act when put in charge of another person in isolation for too long.  Invariably, the one in power slowly de-humanizes the prisoner and before you know it, you've got Abu Ghraib prison.  And we see it today with NSA spying, as it has been made clear the agency has been allowed to do whatever it wants, and so just keeps pushing further and further, minus any limitations or  consequences for doing anything.  We simply must demonstrate there are limits to behavior we will not tolerate, and create regulations and social norms to foster the behavior we want, or we will continue getting the behavior we say we abhor.

I didn't initially see Edward Snowden as a hero, more of a self-promoter, but now it is clear he is a hero, because he has shined a light on behavior that if left unchecked, could have done much more harm to everyone.  He took a courageous leap to "rat out" the most powerful country (bully) on Earth.  To me, in his own world, Jonathan Martin is a lot like Edward Snowden, and should be celebrated because look how many cases of bullying won't start in the future because even a 6-5 315 NFL football player can be bullied, and even he can stand up to it by simply calling it out. 

[OutsiderFan]

What if an NFL player was being bullied because of his perceived or actual sexual orientation?  Would we see a guy playing the Incognito role refrain from calling the bullied player a "fag" because that is unacceptable when the N-word isn't?  Or given the "meatheads" in the NFL, if a player were suspected to be gay, would we see that word being thrown around by a NFL bully with impunity against a suspected gay football player?

It would seem likely this episode pretty much ensures that no NFL player is going to be openly homosexual.  What a cruel reality for aspiring gay football players.  Not only can you not be who you are in the NFL, you have to hide it and live a lie through high school and college, because if you are suspected as gay, this demonstrates what might happen to you if you are open about it.

But back to the Martin case...  I'm not a trained psychologist, but it sure seems there is a profound difference between someone being physically engaged by a bully and fighting back physically to put one down, and threats and intimidation that as far as the bullied one knows could lead to something much more serious, like home being vandalized, actually fearing for safety all the time.  That manifests itself in excruciating stress and to me, takes bullying to another level that absolutely warrants what some might call "ratting" out the bully.

The reporting suggests Martin did not "go running to his mommy."  He walked out of a situation he couldn't stand, and when a party, in this case his employer, came to him to assess why he did, Martin was honest.  And this brands him as "soft" or "a pussy?"  What, if someone murders your loved one, and you know who did it, the suggested course of action is to refrain from saying who did it because that's being a narc?  Ridiculous.

The only one who has done anything right in the ugly situation is Jonathan Martin.  He tried to go along with the hazing, but when it continued after he was no longer a rookie, it was uncharted territory that made him feel unsafe and unwanted.  Nobody, in any situation should stay in an environment where threatened and unwanted.  This whole he "should have resorted to violence" meme is from the same unevolved place that brands people with mental health issues as weak.  It's just simply unacceptable for us to condone violence as a solution to bullying and dismiss mental illness as just being "soft" when the knowledge now exists for us to know better.

Maybe bullying doesn't go away because too many people say ratting out the bully makes someone look weak?  To me, this is the same dynamic that is created when those experiments are done to see how people act when put in charge of another person in isolation for too long.  Invariably, the one in power slowly de-humanizes the prisoner and before you know it, you've got Abu Ghraib prison.  And we see it today with NSA spying, as it has been made clear the agency has been allowed to do whatever it wants, and so just keeps pushing further and further, minus any limitations or  consequences for doing anything.  We simply must demonstrate there are limits to behavior we will not tolerate, and create regulations and social norms to foster the behavior we want, or we will continue getting the behavior we say we abhor.

I didn't initially see Edward Snowden as a hero, more of a self-promoter, but now it is clear he is a hero, because he has shined a light on behavior that if left unchecked, could have done much more harm to everyone.  He took a courageous leap to "rat out" the most powerful country (bully) on Earth.  To me, in his own world, Jonathan Martin is a lot like Edward Snowden, and should be celebrated because look how many cases of bullying won't start in the future because even a 6-5 315 NFL football player can be bullied, and even he can stand up to it by simply calling it out.