[81alum]

But your average Stanford student does not see their parents every weekend and does not have them talking to their professors on a regular basis, the way a WBB player might have her parents hovering over her, following along to away games, talking to coaches, etc.  I've always thought there is something unwholesome about that, and sometimes it has bad ramifications for the player and for the team.

I would have thought you would be very aware that most college students live with or near to their parents.
A 2020 study indicated 57% of new college students didn't move away from home.  It indicated that the schools with the farthest pull are CalTech, MIT, and Stanford—students avg. more than 1,000 miles to attend.  Similar numbers were found in 2018.

A study released in 2022 by researchers at Harvard and the US Census Bureau indicated

• Nearly 60% of young adults live within 10 miles of where they grew up
  
• 80% of young adults live within 100 miles of where they grew up
  

The distance between Stanford students & their parents is abnormally great.  There is little weaning for the students that get uprooted to travel half-way across the country to take up residence.  Most college students (and their parents) have time to transition from their home town and birth family to a life on their own.  Perhaps the communication available in this century allows for continued contact, despite the physical distance.

I am not arguing that it is better or worse to have that separation. I know it is better for some and worse for others.  I am only suggesting that the average Stanford student is more separated from their parents than most others of their age group.  If Stanford athletes happen to see their parents an extra handful of times a year, they are still probably more separated than the majority of their age group.  (Indeed, I suspect that NCAA freshmen on scholarships have fewer interactions with their parents than other freshmen, as they likely travelled farther from home to college.)

I will refrain from speculating on how that separation affected me versus my siblings who stayed relatively close to home.  We were each different people at age 18 and so it would be hard to differentiate the effect of this distance on subsequent maturation and family relationships.

Yes, MT, indeed I am aware.  Only about 30% of my students live on campus.  I have had some students living at home in abusive situations who were desperate to live on campus and could not, for financial reasons.  And of course I have had students who live on campus who would have been better off at home.

But this illustrates my point, which I did not make very well.  Stanford is an elite residential university--a major part of the "Stanford experience" is living there, with all of the concomitant benefits that go with that--I won't catalog them.  That kind of experience--living away from home on a college campus--is not for every student at that stage of their lives.  Not all are ready for it and some will never be.  But for the most parts students sort themselves out--those who know that the elite, suburban, Stanford experience is not right for them don't apply.  And--for the most part--the students coming to Stanford are there to take advantage of the unique environment.  It is important that those who DO come can benefit from the residential experience, or they may feel out of place or downright miserable.  I had a friend in my freshman dorm, for example, who hated Stanford and left.  It was not sufficiently urban for him.

Not all athletes--even those with the grades and the talent to succeed--will necessarily fit the "Stanford experience."  Perhaps Betts was one of them, and was simply unhappy and needed a change of environment.

---

The playing time comment wasn’t an assumption; her mother was on record saying that she didn’t think Stanford used Betts “effectively” which I think was code for “enough”.

BC

Yes, I know she said that.  And Lauren said something else.  It is a rabbit hole to try to sort out what happened.  I do know that there have been occasions in the past where the parents of a Stanford WBB player were highly problematic.

[81alum]

But your average Stanford student does not see their parents every weekend and does not have them talking to their professors on a regular basis, the way a WBB player might have her parents hovering over her, following along to away games, talking to coaches, etc.  I've always thought there is something unwholesome about that, and sometimes it has bad ramifications for the player and for the team.

I would have thought you would be very aware that most college students live with or near to their parents.
A 2020 study indicated 57% of new college students didn't move away from home.  It indicated that the schools with the farthest pull are CalTech, MIT, and Stanford—students avg. more than 1,000 miles to attend.  Similar numbers were found in 2018.

A study released in 2022 by researchers at Harvard and the US Census Bureau indicated

• Nearly 60% of young adults live within 10 miles of where they grew up
  
• 80% of young adults live within 100 miles of where they grew up
  

The distance between Stanford students & their parents is abnormally great.  There is little weaning for the students that get uprooted to travel half-way across the country to take up residence.  Most college students (and their parents) have time to transition from their home town and birth family to a life on their own.  Perhaps the communication available in this century allows for continued contact, despite the physical distance.

I am not arguing that it is better or worse to have that separation. I know it is better for some and worse for others.  I am only suggesting that the average Stanford student is more separated from their parents than most others of their age group.  If Stanford athletes happen to see their parents an extra handful of times a year, they are still probably more separated than the majority of their age group.  (Indeed, I suspect that NCAA freshmen on scholarships have fewer interactions with their parents than other freshmen, as they likely travelled farther from home to college.)

I will refrain from speculating on how that separation affected me versus my siblings who stayed relatively close to home.  We were each different people at age 18 and so it would be hard to differentiate the effect of this distance on subsequent maturation and family relationships.

Yes, MT, indeed I am aware.  Only about 30% of my students live on campus.  I have had some students living at home in abusive situations who were desperate to live on campus and could not, for financial reasons.  And of course I have had students who live on campus who would have been better off at home.

But this illustrates my point, which I did not make very well.  Stanford is an elite residential university--a major part of the "Stanford experience" is living there, with all of the concomitant benefits that go with that--I won't catalog them.  That kind of experience--living away from home on a college campus--is not for every student at that stage of their lives.  Not all are ready for it and some will never be.  But for the most parts students sort themselves out--those who know that the elite, suburban, Stanford experience is not right for them don't apply.  And--for the most part--the students coming to Stanford are there to take advantage of the unique environment.  It is important that those who DO come can benefit from the residential experience, or they may feel out of place or downright miserable.  I had a friend in my freshman dorm, for example, who hated Stanford and left.  It was not sufficiently urban for him.

Not all athletes--even those with the grades and the talent to succeed--will necessarily fit the "Stanford experience."  Perhaps Betts was one of them, and was simply unhappy and needed a change of environment.

---

The playing time comment wasn’t an assumption; her mother was on record saying that she didn’t think Stanford used Betts “effectively” which I think was code for “enough”.

BC

Yes, I know she said that.  And Lauren said something else.  It is a rabbit hole to try to sort out what happened.  I do know that there have been occasions in the past where the parents of a Stanford WBB player were highly problematic.